When life gets boring....

So, it's been a while since I have written. My life has gotten pretty interesting these last couple of weeks!! I guess I have learned the lesson that you NEVER tell God "I can't take anymore"...because He laughs and shows you that you CAN!!!

Well, there are a lot of things I would love to sit and write about, but a lot of them are very personal and would require me getting into religious debates with everyone. I am NOT a fan of doing that. I am VERY thankful for my faithful friends that I can confide in and bring those things up and I am very thankful for that they take the time and listen!

I have started the twins in therapy for Reactive Attachment Disorder. Many people have not heard of it. If you are familiar with it, you know my pain. I have said from the very first time I met the twins that something was different about them. There was just a feeling that somewhere deep inside, they were hiding something from us. Well, I started us on therapy back then and we have been through a few different counselors.

Unless your counselor has dealt with adoptions or is familiar with adoptions, they will misdiagnose this as everything under the sun but what it really is. And what it really is...is a BEAR!!! Due to the severe neglect the twins suffered before we got them, as is evident just by the fact that they grew almost a foot each in the first year they were with us, and possibly witnessing some domestic violence and drug activity, they developed coping skills that are cute and charming to everyone, but are just downright difficult for us as parents to deal with on a daily basis.

Have you ever gotten into a fist fight with your child because they would not pick up a tissue they dropped on the ground in front of you? Well, I have. I wasn't the one to take it to that, Tyrece was. He does those kinds of things frequently and has since the day he came home. To everyone else, it appears that I am a very uncaring, unloving, mean mother. Well, that is very far from the truth, but they MAKE you be that way.

RAD kids do NOT feel they are worthy of being loved, worthy of ANYTHING good and are SCARED when something good comes their way. So, they sabotage as much as they can!!

I found a counselor online that helps with these issues. And to make sure that I did not taint her view of me or the twins, I only told her what happened to them BEFORE they came to live with us. I ONLY told her the neglect that we DEFINITELY knew of before they were dropped off with the foster parents. SHE proceeded to tell me the next 10 years of my life. From the disrespectful talk, to the inability to punish them appropriately, to the fact that I felt like a failure as a parent, because most people saw me as that.

I was in tears, I broke down. To have that relief after a decade of everyone telling you that you have typical kids, and knowing deep down they were NOT...there are not enough words to describe that feeling. I felt validated, I felt relief, but most of all...I felt HOPE!!! Hope that the kids I had hoped to adopt and raise were actually there, they just didn't know how to accept anything I was trying to give them! They could accept the love from other people, they just could not accept the love I was trying to give them, because they did not feel they deserved good parent!

I am forever thankful for this lady, this angel who is giving me my sanity and my children back. I have already seen a difference with them. Tyra and I have been able to have conversations that before NEVER would have happened. Tyrece is still fighting this, but he will come around.

I just ask for everyone to continue to pray for us as we go through this healing. I ask everyone to respect the decisions the counselor, Tim and I make and help us to keep the kids going in the right direction. I truly believe you will LOVE the kids that I have always known were in there, but were scared to come out. I know I can't wait to get to know the REAL Tyra and Tyrece!!

I am also looking into maybe trying to get RAD out in the public more. There are so many things that people have raised awareness about, I think this needs some air time also!! If anyone has any ideas to help me in this mission, please feel free to contact me, and maybe I will not have to wait so long to put up another blog!!!

God bless, and have a great night!!