But lately, I have had a time to reflect on things. Where was I a year ago? What was my mood like? Where was my heart?
Well, thanks to Facebook, I can look back on the last year and read my status updates and see where I was. Who WAS that person??
Oh, yeah, that was me. Was is the main word there. As a Christian, I await the day I am called to join my Savior in Heaven for all eternity. But, while I am here, I am human, I make mistakes, I learn from them, and I also grow stronger as the days go by.
Today at church, Dr. Ron Dalton proposed this question...Are you ready for what God wants to do in your life? You don't have the power to do those things, but you DO have to make straight the paths for God to work. For me to let go, I have to let God unsettle my past and where I currently am to get to where He wants me.
Whoa...powerful words. I have learned so much over the last year. Who my friends are, who some people TRULY are, the work God has done in my past to get me where I am right now...it's amazing how a lot of those things have come full circle over the last 12 months.
Who knew in one year I would go from being unemployed to working with the mentally disabled and finding some of the greatest people in the world to work with! My staff and coworkers are the GREATEST people ever!
Who knew a year ago I would be the Sunday School Superintendent at my church which has led up to me being in charge of the children's ministries and the Christmas program? I NEVER thought I would ever be the one to do this!
Who knew a year ago I would be living in a new house and the kids going to a new school? That was a plan God had in the works for almost 10 years! I thought I was losing out on friends with everyone moving away, but instead it was a blessing in a desperate time of need for me and my family!
I have met a lot of new people over the last year. I have also learned that some of my friendships are actually deeper than I thought, and others are just on the surface and mean nothing more!
Who knew going to a concert in Champaign would introduce me to a new friend in a neighboring city that has been a prayer warrior for me and a great inspiration on a daily basis! You never know who will be sitting next to you, I encourage you to talk to them! I am so glad I have, Jeff has become a great resource when I need a word of encouragement or just to know that someone out there has the same thoughts I do!
I know God is doing a lot of shaking up right now. I kind of compare it to a container of seasoning in the cabinet. You have your "steak seasoning". It is a blend of all the right spices to make your steak awesome. But, if you let it sit and not use it for a while, things tend to settle. If you try and use it without shaking it up a bit, you may not get the right blend of everything to make your dinner fabulous. Instead, you may get a mediocre steak. And trust me, there is nothing more disappointing than waiting for a steak and it just isn't right!
Now, sometimes sitting that long makes some of the seasonings in that mix turn stale or just lose their flavor. So, you may need to get a new bottle of seasoning to bring back the kick, or you might find a new bottle that is better! The thing is, you will never know until you get rid of the old, stagnant seasoning that has settled and let God shake things up to let you know where things are in your life.
Do you have friends that are sucking the life out of you? Do you have friends that once were true, honest friends and now only look to destroy you? Do you have a job that makes you happy? Does your family know they come first? What part of your life is God shaking up to make way for a new "seasoning" to come in and put you over the top?
I have recently had my eyes open to a lot of these questions. I thank God for opening my eyes and telling me it is ok to no longer fight for those friendships or relationships. Sometimes it is just better to walk away and not get the last word or let that person know they have hurt you. I have chosen to take this route. I would love to tell some people how they have hurt me. Would it really benefit me to tell them, or is that what they are waiting for? Do they want to hear how my heart broke when they stabbed me in the back?
I have great friends. Ones that want nothing but to hear my voice, see my face or feel my hug. I love them to the ends of the universe. Male, female, gay, straight, black, white...it doesn't matter to me. If you have me in your mind, I have you in mine and I love you and pray for you always. If you don't, well, I still pray for you.
I do not know what the next year brings for me, I am wondering if staying Superintendent is in my future? I wonder if staying at my current job is there? I don't know the answers to any of these questions, but I put them in VERY capable hands. His hands. He knows my wants, my desires, my dreams. But I MUST remember it is His WILL and not my own that will determine my future.
Maybe I have rambled on here for a bit, but church has been such a big part of my life lately. I am SO thankful for my friends and family I have made there. The people who go to church with me are so much more than just people...they ARE my family. I love them and worry about them and talk to them as much as I can. Family in my house has nothing to do with bloodlines or heritage, but rather those who are there and want to be there. I miss my grandparents dearly, but I have so many others that have taken roles on for me that I feel that missing space has been filled.
So with that I tell you this, prepare the way for the Lord in your life. Let Him shake things up. It may, no, it WILL suck at times. But don't give up. He never gives up on us, He never stops loving us. He will show us his way, just let Him lead!
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